An Introvert's problem with social networking

Another late night with friends, clinking of glasses and the merry rumblings of the fellow patrons, all seems well in the bustling mini-society of the pub- except for that one quite guy in the corner- the observing introvert. He takes mental notes in his head, carefully trying to create a diagram of how people are able to get so much attention with a minimal amount of effort.

It would seem that an introvert has little place in these societal settings and would rather have had friends over for a in depth conversation. Perhaps over coffee. Perhaps the cyber world of social networking is more akin to their desire for intimacy, without the worries that accompany the face to face interaction.

Although this might be the case it is necessary that the introvert keep his face to face interaction, because without it they will still recieve little of the intimacy and deep discussion they desire. For better or worse most people on these websites talk more openly with those they would normally talk to at a social gathering- so if you can not hold their interest at a party (their kind of party) you are just as unlikely to hold their interest on the web.

Most discussions are of the 'small talk' variety- topics which are often are the plague to the introvert. Developing skills in this area will not only improve your face to face interactions but also with your online interactions.

So the key tips;
- When you are engaged with someone in a discussion- try to start of conversation light- dance around topics such as;
* what they have been up to
* how their family/studies/job are going
* the weather/sport
- Then try to move into topics that you might find more interesting, however try to gage before hand that the other person will be interested.
- Smile and listen. I know it is at times difficult, but this can be all that is required to make someone want to continue talking to you.

In the end remember that though an introvert might feel awkward in big social situations and possibly on the web, that extroverts are usually just as awkward in deep discussions. So following the concept of reciprocity- you give a little you get a little.

Dale Stam